Adult SMS

Ameer Aadmi garib se : Batao,\"SEX\" \"MEHNAT\" hai ya \"MAZAA\"...??
Garib: Hazoor \"MAZAA\" hi aata hoga. agar \"MEHNAT\" hoti to woh bhi aap humse he karwatey....... ;)

Parda & panty me fark kya hai?
Ans: parda utarne se kahani khatam hota hai. Lekin panti utarneke bad kahani ki suruwat hote hai.

mom:beta batao tere hath mein kitni ungliyan hain.
beta:6
mom:ullu kitni baar mana kiya hai chaddhi mein hath dal kr mat gina kr.

suhagraat ko pati patni se bolta hai ijajat hai ?
bivi bolti hai G. poori raat kaam laga kar beemaar kar ke sasural chodney chal deta hai aur wahan se chaltey samay saas se kehta hai ijajat hai ? tabhi bivi chhila deti hai maa ijajat mat dena gand faad dega!........

Dr mareez ki gaand main ungli kar ke baitha tha.
Ek ne poocha Dr sahab kya kar rahey ho ??
Dr: mareez ko ulti kara raha hoon......
Ek ne phir poocha kaise ? ?
Dr.: yahi ungli abhi uskey muh main daaloonga........:)

Posted by Lalit

Kabhe aana mere kabra per,
Kabhe aana mere kabra per - chal dena moot ke
Ise bahane darshan ho jayenge aapki chut ke.

Bus stop pe ek ladki wisper ka packet leke khadi thi.
Bhikhari; kuch de do.
Ladki; kuch nahi hai.
Bhikhari; ye bread ka packet hi de do.
Ladki; kal aana sos laga ke dungi.

By : Kadir.220.@rediffmail.com

mirza galid ne masuka ka whisper dekha aur bola:

'SALWAAR KE NICHE SE PAANI LAAL AATA HAI,
KYA MERI BIWI KA BHOSADA PAAN KHAATA HAI'

DUSSASAN kaun tha?
Student:-Chutiya tha.
Teacher:- wo kayse?
Student:- Jitna time woh sari khichane me lagaya, sari utha bhi to sakta tha.

santa:AAJ GHAR JATE HI BIWI KI PANTY UTRUNGA,
banta: AAJ TO BADE MOOD ME HAI?
santa: MOOD KI AISI KI TESI,
BAHUT TIGHT HAI , SUBAH GALTI SE PEHEN LI THEE

WIFE-1 baat bolu maarna mat.!
Husband-Bolo!
W-Main Pregnant hu.!
H-Ye to khushi ki baat hai.
W-College life me 1baar Papa ko bataya tha to bahut maar padi thi..

santa banta se yar yah scooty kaha se laye banta- ek ladki ne mujhe scooty per bitha kar jangal me le gai or apne kapade utar ker boli jo chahe so le lo main kapado ka kaya kerta scooty le aya

kutab minar ko dekh kar ek shayar ne likha

ajab karishma dekha khuda e karim ka, aasma ko chodne nikla hai lauda zameen ka

1 kuwari ladki prgnet ho gai. uske papa ne pucha ki ye bacha kiska hain. ladki ne kaha papa chhote-2 recharge dalati thi pata nahi ye life time validity kaha se dal gaya.

Son- Papa kya jadugar hain. nahi to tujhe kisne kaha. phir apne rat ko mammy ko kyo kaha ki chal ghodi ban ja

class me padhate time madam ka blauz ka batan tut gaya. 2 ladke hasne lage. madan ne kaha chup rahate ho ya dono ko bahar nikalu.

Boy : Chalo Darling, jungle main chaltey hain ....
Girl : Nahi tum tanhai mian ghalat faida uthaoo gey ...
Boy : Nahi DArling Allah ki kasam kuch nahi karoon ga ...
Girl : Haaaa haye, jab kuch karna he nahi to jungle main jaanay ka kiya faida..

Patiala ki do chijen famous hain.
Ik patiala peg or Dusri patiala salwar.
ek to chdhne par maza deti hai. to dusri uterne par.

sardar-murga kaise diye
murgawala-70,50 aur 10 ka.
sardar- rs 10 ka itna sasta kyu?
murgawala-isko aids hai.
sardar- de do khana hi hai gand thode hi marni hai.

Sehwag asks sachin:- What is diff. b/w six & sex. Sachin reply:- Ball uper uthakar maro to six. Ball \'dabaa\' kar niche maro to sex.

Ramlal:Thakur sahab. Gabbar ne bahu ki ijjat loot li hai.
Thakur: To main kya karun?
Ramlal:bahurani poochh rahi hai Gabbar se badla lena hai ya payment?

Posted By : Sagar

Teacher: wats Ur name?
Boy: Hola
Teacher: ye kya nam hua
Boy: main holi k din hua tha na

Teacher: thank god tum 'lohdi' k din paida nahi hue!

once a college was going on a picnic.
all girls and boys were playing games.
girls-aaj to hm tumhe hra k hi dikhayege.
boys-ok hm har gye,,,,,,,ab dikhao

Wife:Bas karog ji..raat k 12 baje se kar rahe ho aur subah k 8 baj chuke hain.
Thake nahi kya?Aur kitna karoge?

Husband:karne do na darling abhi to mere

200 msg aur free hain

Posted By : Sagar

Lady: Time kitna hua hai?
Banta: Bra Panties.
Lady: Time poocha hai Nonsense.
Banta: Time hi to bataya hai 12.35

School mein bachche ke papa ne teacher se kaha:
Madam ji thodi aap koshish karo,
thodi hum karte hain,
bachcha to nikal hi jayega..

Ek bar karo na plz…
Kisi ko pata nahi chalega…
Plz karo naaa…
Muje acha lage ga…
Ek bar hamari dosti ki khatri
Kar do na plz…
Ek pyara sa SMS!

Teacher: What is your caste?
Student: Pehle hum Singh they,
Phir Rajput hue,
Phir Sharma ho gaye,
Abhi hai Darzi….

Kuch Log Thodi Der Karte Hain!!!!
Aur Kuch Log Puri Raat Karte Hai Tab Jake Unka Hota Hai                  
  Mobile Charge

Posted By : Kuldeep Singh

Child: Mom ye Pregnant kia hota hi,
Mom: Why.
Child: Nothing
Mom: Pregnant ka matlab hai Gussa hona.

Agley roz child beech rastey mein larki se takra gya. uske sath uski mom thi wo boli stupid Sharam nahi ati.
Child: Gira mein iss per hoo aur Peregnant tum ho rahi ho.

Posted By :Rao Khaliq

Boy:a girl your new shoes is beatuiful
Girl:you want to remove it
Boy:then your dress is so nice

Posted by : Mahendra

Girl to boy: Tum larkay kisi larki mei
sub se pehlay kia daikhte ho ?

Boy: Yeh tou depend karta hai k
larki aa rahi hay ya ja rahi hai …:

arae yaar... teri bhivi meri bhive hai...

kya bolthe ho????

teri maa meri maa hai...

essi taraa teri bhivi meri bhivi hai...

Sardar: Yar meri biwi pani se bohat darti hai.
Friend: Acha wo kaise?
Sardar: Yar kal mein ghar gaya to wo bathtub

Raat ke 2 baje ek admi bahu ke kamre
se nikla aur chala gaya.
Saas ne dekha lekin kuch na boli
Kyu…

Teacher to student: There is two type of sex on earth, male and female.
A student: Teacher I know few more.
Teacher: What?
Student: Bedroom sex, bathroom sex and online sex.....

=============================

Pehli raat ko kamre ke andar jaate hi dullhan apna blouse kholne lagi.

Dulha-ye kya kar rahi ho.

Dulhan-maa ne kaha tha jate hi dudh pilana.

Posted by : Amit Kumar

Ever Wonder why women wear panties with printed flowers?

It\'s a way of saying please
water my garden and sow seeds to grow new flowers.

Husband: aaj me tere kaan(ear) me dalonga.
wife: khi me bharii hgo gyi to.

Husband: aaj tak goongi hui kya?

===================================

Boyz are stronger than gals, because boys get two mangoes with two grapes and lots of fresh milk.... and gals get only one banana and ek chammach lassi.

God asked women: \"did i make a mistake in designing men?\"
Women: it\'s OK except that the \"JOY STICK\" meant for us should be Detachable to avoid misuse.....!!

Posted by: UTTAM MITHAL

Love is a gamble,
Sex is game.
Boys get fucking,
Girls get pain.
One night plasure,
Nine month pain.
One day in a hospital
 and a junior fucker comes again.

Ak Bar Sardar Ji Apni Patni K Sath Sex Kar Rahe The  Aur Light Chali Gai To Sardar Ji Ne Apna Land Sardarni K Chutdo Main Dal Diya To Sardarni Ne Kha A Ji Truk Galt Godam Main Dal Diya H  To Sardar Ne Kha Ab Bata Rahi Ho Jab Petrol He Khatm Ho Gaya H